Help Me Make It Through the Night
by AnAmericanMom
Summary: For those of you who ready Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen which I suggest doing before you read this one , this is the first sequel picking up shortly after the other one left off.
1. Chapter 1

**_AN: Welcome back my wonderful faithful readers/reviewers! Welcome to the first sequel to Happy Birthday, Sweet Sixteen! I hope you enjoy this first chapter, I am currently in the middle of writing chapter five already! So updates should be reasonably quick, though the more reviews I get the faster I update! Same goes for my only other work in progress World Instant Star. I'm wondering what I'm missing with that one as the reviews of the last chapter were very few, though I am grateful for the ones I did receive and hope to get the fifth episode up very soon! Now, onto chapter one!_**

**Help Me Make It Through the Night**

**By An American Mom**

**Chapter One: Disaster on the horizon**

Tommy and Jude had both in their own musical way admitted a little of the hidden realities playing in their own minds. They had attempted to admit things were growing, changing in their own hearts for each other, but of course neither would say it out right to the other. Then as luck would have it two weeks after her party when her winter break started she went on tour along with SME, a fairly local tour only lasting four weeks. This of course meant four weeks apart for the pair, and two extra weeks of vacation from school for the four teenagers crammed on an older tour bus.

He had been excited for her first tour, intent on being front row for as many shows as he could get to, and he was despite the changes that occurred almost immediately after she left. What Jude didn't know and Tommy found out only hours after her bus pulled out of the G-Major parking lot with her and her three teenage companions/band mates, is that Georgia had wanted to not only get the girl exposure but have her anywhere but in the studio when the business of changing owners occurred. It turned out that Georgia was in debt further than anyone but EJ knew and so when Darius Mills expressed interest in the label she'd had no choice but to sell it or file bankruptcy. The ladder would have been worse for her artists, namely Jude, than allowing Darius to buy the label directly from her. His interest in her label had a great deal to do with the high spirited little red-headed artist as it was so her position within the label and her contract were safe. As a favor to Georgia and to Tom he even agreed to keep all of the staff, save for Georgia and EJ of course who he set up in another label of his in the states.

Georgia didn't have the heart to tell Jude so making sure she was gone on tour seemed the best plan, after all the girl would have Tommy to help her through the transition when the tour was over. What Georgia didn't realize was that Darius was bringing along his sister, Tom's ex-wife, as part of the package. Portia was taking over EJ's job and as hard as it might be to believe, with even more attitude and dominance.

Tom adjusted quickly enough to the idea of having to work for/with Darius again despite their falling out when he left _Boyz Attack_ but the idea of working and being around his ex-wife was a different story. Since Jude was gone for the time being he went back to his old comfort as he had done towards the end of his marriage to Portia; alcohol. However due to the stress and pressure all of this put on him emotionally he didn't take into consideration the fact he was taking medication for a case of the flu he'd developed shortly before Jude left.

Tom had missed three days of work without word to anyone when Kwest decided to go to his place and check on him, finding the door unusually unlocked and the stereo blasting a bootleg copy of one of Jude's songs. When he walks into the dark apartment he finds the floors once again littered with empty bottles of alcohol leading him into Tom's bedroom, the floor still cluttered with the same. He glances around the room in search of his friend only to see the glow of the bathroom light out of the corner of his eyes. Finding no sign of him else where he heads towards the bathroom, close enough now to finally hear the shower running.

As he enters the bathroom he's shocked by what he finds, on the floor unconscious lay Tommy, his head slumped against the side of the tub where it's obvious he's fallen and hit his head shortly after turning on the shower. Frantic he kneels down checking his breathing and pulse finding his pulse weaker than it should be and his breathing shallow, he also finds a thing trail of drying blood along the side of the tub under his head. He reaches out to switch the shower to the tub and checks the temperature of the water for an estimate of time. The water is ice cold, but the steam hasn't fully faded from the mirror behind him, the tiniest amount remains and he guesses his friend's been in this state for around an hour. He pulls out his phone calling the paramedics while attempting to remain calm. The moment he is off the phone with them while he's waiting for them to arrive he calls Jude getting a very groggy and not too happy teenage rock star. "Jude, listen to me, I know it's three in the morning but this is an emergency. How far are you from Toronto?" He listens as she answers him with a dazed estimate but sounds as though she's barely sure of her own accuracy. "Okay, better question, where are you?" He nods as she tells him she's in Barrie. "Okay, listen carefully Jude. Tom's messed up bad, he's been mixing alcohol with the meds he was on for the flu, it looks like he's been drinking for days but maybe an hour ago it looks like he fell and hit his head. He's unconscious but he's breathing. I don't know anything else yet, the ambulance is on their way now. I'm having them take him to St. Michael's hospital. Soon as you can, meet us there. I hate to ask you to-"He's interrupted by her of course, threatening him if he dares to continue to apologize for her leaving tour for Tom. "Okay, I'll meet you there. I'm going to call your dad, I'm going to need his help with the hospital, because you're a minor."

By the time he hangs up with Jude the paramedics have arrived and start asking him a slew of questions he does his best to answer. He cringes when they ask about family. "The only family he has in Toronto are the Harrisons'."

"As in Jude Harrison?" One of the paramedics asks.

"Yes, that's his best friend. He's practically lived with them since he was twelve, when he was in Toronto that is."

"She's on tour though isn't she? What about her parents?"

"I'm going to call her father on the way to the hospital; she's on her way here from Barrie. She'll meet us at the hospital as soon as she can. She's canceling the last two stops on her tour."

"All right I'll inform the hospital when we arrive. It's likely they will admit him directly to ICU so it will be one visitor at a time and only family. The best thing to do is tell the staff the Harrisons' are his foster family, that will take care of their rights but there's nothing we can do about the number of visitors policy. You're welcome to hang out in the ICU waiting room though for them."

"No problem. When he comes to, Jude's going to be the most important sight for him in this state." He shakes his head as he quickly follows the paramedics out of the apartment, turning off the stereo and locking the door behind him.

--

While the doctors and nurses see to Tom Stuart watches Kwest pace anxiously back and forth near to wearing a hole in the floor of the ICU waiting room before he breaks the tense silence asking, "What set him off?"

Kwest shrugs before collapsing into a chair across from Stuart. "I can only guess, the only thing I know for sure is just before he stopped showing up to work he'd gotten into a fight with his ex-wife Portia. Don't tell Jude this when she gets here, but, Georgia had two choices. She could either file bankruptcy or she could sell the label to Darius Mills, Tom's old manager. So along with Darius we're also stuck with his ex-wife, she took EJ's position at the label. Tom's not been in for three days now, so I went to check on him tonight on my way home which ended up being later in the night than I intended since I've had his work load and mine for the past three days."

"I remember Jude mentioning that Tommy was coming down with the flu before she left on tour, right?"

"Yes, which from what I could tell he's mixed a crap load of flu meds with an even larger quantity of alcohol, hard alcohol. Someone seriously needs to knock some sense into him and soon. He's got to stop wallowing in liquor, or he's going to kill himself one of these days. I don't think that's what he's trying for though."

"I agree. Hopefully Jude can talk some sense into him, she's about the only person he listens to when it comes to something like this."

Before Kwest can respond to Stuart's words an older man in a white lab coat walks into the room asking, "Who's here for Tom Quincy?" Kwest had of course been the reason for his stage name on the hospital records as even he doesn't know Tom's real last name.

Stuart stands and approaches the doctor, "I'm his foster father, how is he?"

"To be honest, he's in bad shape. He's got a serious concussion and hasn't regained consciousness yet from a combination of alcohol poisoning and the blow to his head. We've pumped his stomach and we're giving him antibiotics to fight off the infection brought on by the flu. His temperature is over 104 right now, we're doing everything we can to try and bring it down." The doctor states gently.

"Can I see him? I'd like to stay with him until my daughter arrives. She's coming in from Barrie now."

"Yes, of course. We'll make sure she's sent in as soon as she arrives." The doctor of course unaware Jude's only sixteen, not that Stuart or Kwest will allow the hospital to stop her due to her age.

Kwest paces the length of the waiting room while Stuart sits with an unconscious Tom for less than a half an hour when Jude comes barreling into the waiting room in a panic. "Where is he? How is he?!"

Kwest reaches out and grabs the girl by the shoulders to stop her and calm her as he speaks. "He's stable, his fever is high and he has an infection, they had to pump his stomach, and he has a concussion. When he comes to they'll move him to a private room but until then only one family member is allowed with him at a time. Your dad is with him right now. When he's conscious before he's released they've said he is required to talk to psych. His drinking is bad Jude."

"What happened?"

"There have been some major changes at G-Major, one of them involves the presence of his ex-wife and they got into a big fight. Then for the past three days instead of coming into work he's been home drinking himself into oblivion while taking his meds. I don't know what's been going through his head kiddo, but I hope to God you can get through to him." He releases her and goes to the door of Tom's room opening it long enough to motion for Stuart to come out, the nurse eyeing them from her desk to make sure someone comes out before anyone else goes in.

"Hi honey, I'll be at home if you need me." Stuart greets his daughter gently as he hugs her before opening the door for her and ushering her in and gets ready to leave.

Jude walks into his room, her bright blue eyes filled to the brim with tears that spill carelessly down her pale cheeks as she walks towards his bed. She takes in the sight of him lying there unconscious, pale, sweating, and hooked up to machines and IV bags. She pulls the chair as close as she can to his bed side grabbing the hand with the IV tube coming out of it and resting her head on the railing of the bed. She starts rambling to him hoping he can hear her, though it really doesn't matter. "Oh Tommy… What did you do…? Why are you doing this to yourself, huh?" When she can no longer hold back she starts to cry, letting go of his hand long enough to lower the railing on her side before laying her head carefully on the hand she takes hold of again.

It's around 7am when Portia Mills storms into the ICU waiting room startling Kwest and even causing Jude to look towards the door in the direction of angry muffled voices. Well muffled on Jude's end, Kwest however cringes as Portia angrily spits, "How dare you not tell me as soon as he was brought in! I want to see him, now!"

"You can't Portia, family only and only one member at a time. If you think Jude's going to leave his side so _you_ of all people can go sit with him you've lost your mind. "Kwest states, his arms folded across his chest.

"I am his wife!"

"Ex-wife! Get that through your head!"

"Well as far as the hospital is concerned we're still married, just legally separated."

"That's a lie."

"So is calling that _child_ family! I want in there, now! Get her out here; I'll get her to let me in."

"Good luck." He shakes his head as he nods to the nurse and peeks into the room motioning for Jude to come to the door. He steps back slightly as Jude reluctantly walks to the door though only peeking out of it, refusing to actually leave the room." Jude, this is Portia. She wants to sit with Tommy a while."

Jude looks from the beautiful African American woman standing with her foot tapping on the linoleum floor with her arms crossed angrily across her chest. She then looks to Kwest who holds an apologetic look. She shakes her head once curtly and simply states, "No," Before she goes back into Tom's room shutting the door behind her without another word.

Kwest shrugs, "There's your answer Portia. You're welcome to wait around with me until he wakes up and see if he changes the situation, but don't hold your breath. The hospital will be lucky if they can get her to leave his side for anything including the required psych evaluation. I don't think he's going to let her out of sight once he wakes up and she's sure as hell not going anywhere until he says so."

--

Kwest and Portia continue to argue until after 8am when Tom starts to stir and Jude's fallen asleep on top of his hand, her fingers clutching his feverish hand for dear life. His eyes open slowly feeling as if his eyelids are made of led as they flutter open and look around the white sterile hospital room. He eyes the IV bags and the monitors and even looks towards the door as he hears the argument continue before finally looking down at his hand and the reason for the weight he feels against it.

He reaches up with his free hand and brushes her hair from her features, his voice is soft and hoarse, "My girl…"

Under normal circumstances something so simple wouldn't have woken her, but she wasn't in a deep sleep, just a barely unconscious state of exhaustion so his touch and voice wake her easily. She sits up bleary eyed when she releases he's awake before standing quickly and hugging him. "Tommy! You scared the living hell out of me!" She pulls back to thump his shoulder with an angry pout on her chapped lips. "Don't you ever do that to me again!"

"Ow! I don't even know what happened… At least I don't remember much."

"You've been drinking again, a lot. Why are you doing this to yourself Tommy?" Her voice is pleading and full of sorrow towards the end as she looks at him with worry in her eyes.

He pulls his gaze from hers looking down at the IV in his hand reaching over with his other hand to toy gently with the plastic tube sticking out of his vein. "I don't know Jude… Can we just not talk about this right now? Please?" He lifts his gaze for a moment only to bestow on her a pleading expression of his own.

"Okay. I need to go let the nurse know you're awake and Kwest." She pauses for a moment, hesitant to leave his side. "Do you want me to send him in? I'll have to leave unless you wait to see anyone else until you're moved from ICU…"

"Let's wait until they move me then." He says softly, squeezing her hand gently before releasing it to allow her to inform the nurse.

She leans in to kiss the top of his head before reluctantly leaving his side and heading for the door. As soon as her hand curls around the icy metal knob she turns her head back to look at him adding, "Your ex-wife is also waiting to see you…" She doesn't wait for a response as she leaves the room to talk to the nurse, letting him think over her news in her absence. A tiny part of her actually worried he'd kick her out of the room long enough to speak to the woman.

She reaches the nurses' station leaning across the counter to whisper to the woman out of Portia's earshot while eyeing Kwest out of the corner of her eyes. She informs the nurse of Tom's conscious status before leaning back onto the heels of her feet again and looking at Kwest as he reaches her. She wraps her arms around him in a quick hug whispering the same news to him all the while eyeing the ex-wife. She doesn't say a word to the beautiful woman; instead she slips back into Tommy's room as quickly and silently as she'd left it.

"Hey girl," Tommy greets her with a tired smile the hand not attached to the IV bag reaching out towards her.

She slips her hand into his as she reaches his bed, shaking her head at the silent offer to climb into bed with him, and again when he pouts in protest. She voices gently, "The doctor will be in here any minute to examine you Quincy. I'd be in the way."

He looks up at her with wide crystal blue eyes that have a dull haze over them from the fever his skin too pale and his face scruffy from near a week of not shaving, "Just until the doctor comes in, please?"

"Oh fine." She shakes her head with a slight smile before climbing into the bed beside him her arm looping around his and her head coming to rest lightly on his shoulder. With her free hand she traces idle designs on the back of his.

"So, Portia's here…" He says the words as a statement more than a question.

"Yes."

"Has she tried to get in here yet?"

"Oh yes. She argued with Kwest then tried to intimidate me. She also lied to the staff according to Kwest that you two are just legally separated but still married."

He snorts rolling his eyes lazily before shaking his head. "Yeah, separated, right… We've been divorced longer than we were married. Then again I think I've had colds last longer than our marriage…" His words were harsh true, but thankfully the woman in question isn't in the room to hear them. He lays the side of his head against the top of hers nestling himself closer to Jude as if his life depends on her presence. If Tom were to be honest with himself his existence did depend on her presence in his life. It was always during their times apart he made the stupidest choices in his life, like now during her tour. Her tour! His head jerks up and turns towards hers as it rises also. "You left tour early didn't you?"

"Of course," She looks at him confused. "You were taken to the hospital, put in ICU, had a concussion, a high fever, and your stomach pumped. Do you really think I'd stay in Barrie and perform with all of that? I think if dad or I hadn't been here every second you've been in the hospital they'd have you on suicide watch, do you know that?"

He cringes at the word _suicide_ as though he'd been struck. "I wasn't trying to kill myself Jude…"

She shifts on the bed sitting up straighter and facing him a serious expression on her youthful face. "In a way you are Tommy. Your behavior every time something upsets you is to drink yourself into oblivion. It's self destructive behavior; it's sort of the same thing."

"I…" He bites his lower lip frowning and lowering his gaze from hers just as the doctor enters the room.

Jude climbs off the bed to get out of the older man's way spacing out a bit as he starts to question and examine Tommy. In her mind she starts seriously thinking over his behavior the last ten years and the words she's just spoken. It was no wonder the hospital was demanding a psych evaluation, there had even been talk of not allowing him home until he was either over the virus completely and off meds or under serious full time supervision to prevent a reoccurrence.

A few minutes later the doctor leaves the room, preparing to send someone in to move him to a private room out of ICU which lowers the visiting standards, at least through the hospital. He of course still doesn't want to even consider Jude leaving the room especially the idea of leaving him alone with any particular visitors. He also can't stand the look of disappointment in her eyes that remains from the discussion they'd started before the doctor came in. He pats the place on the bed again as he changes the subject. "So, while you were away there were some changes at G-Major, did Kwest tell you about any of it?"

"No," She looks at him confused again and mildly irritated he changed the subject on her but lets it alone for now. "What changes?"

"Georgia was in danger of going bankrupt, so she sold the label. Do you remember my old manager Darius? Portia's older brother?" As soon as she nods he continues, "Well he bought the label. He did it mostly because he could see how much money you'd be pulling in for the label over time, how big of a hit you already are and will continue to grow into. Of course in the process of buying the label from her he had to agree to allow everyone, except Georgia and EJ, to keep their jobs as they are. She did that to protect you and me of course. He agreed before he realized she'd teamed us up and remembering the history between us. So he's not thrilled and odds are he's already heard what happened between you and Portia so he's probably even less happy with us."

"So he's probably going to go ballistic about the fact I just effectively canceled the last two performances on my tour huh?"

"Yes. We'll be paying a high price for it that's for sure."

"It's worth it." She places her hand on his cheek lightly, "I wouldn't be anywhere else Tommy. Nothing, no one, especially no manager, is going to make me break my promise."

"Thanks Harrison." He says softly resting his forehead against hers his eyes half closing against her warm touch just as an orderly comes in to move him to another room.


	2. Chapter 2

_**AN: Wow! I can't believe this story has already received so many wonderful reviews! Thank you to all of you who have reviewed/read this story and my others! Your reviews help keep me writing! I hope to put out the fifth episode of World Instant Star this week, and for those of you wondering yes as the 'season' goes along there will be more from Jude and Tommy as well as people like Shay and Sadie and all the original cast as well as from all of their kids. So I hope you all stay tuned to that as much as you are this one! I am currently working on chapter six for Help Me Make It Through the Night but I don't intend to post that particular episode until next Saturday, so for now sit back and enjoy chapter two!**_

**Help Me Make It Through the Night**

**By An American Mom**

**Chapter Two: Ex-wives and psychiatric evaluations**

Visiting hours are nearly over as night falls over St. Michael's hospital of Toronto when Tommy finally asks for one of the many people who have accumulated in the hospital's waiting room. He asks of course for Kwest. He walks into his friend's hospital room, taking a deep breath before he comes into view plastering a smile on his face. "Hey man, you gave us all quite a scare there. You also have quite a group of people waiting for a piece of you out there. Do you want me to start sending people home?"

Tom sighs nodding slowly before speaking, "Yes. Everyone except Stuart and Portia, I have to talk to her eventually before she makes life a living hell for everyone who works here."

"Yeah you might be a little late for that part. She's been raising hell since she got here and having Jude here only say a single word to her before shutting the door in her face like she was a flea didn't make it any better."

"You did that?" Tommy looks towards a very sheepish Jude before he chuckles and turns his attention back to Kwest. "I'll see if I can smooth things over, or at least get it through her head I agree with Jude's decision."

"Want me to send her in first then?"

"Sure." They watch as Kwest heads out to the waiting room to handle the crowd.

Jude starts to slide off of the bed only to have Tommy's arm tighten around her waist, "Don't," He states simply.

"Don't you need a moment alone with _her_?" Jude asks, venom in her voice when she mentions the woman.

"Jude, there's nothing I am going to say to her or that she can say to me that I would object to you hearing." Jude nods just as Portia walks into the room in a huff, her arms crossed over her chest in irritation at the side of Jude sitting nestled against Tom on the small hospital bed. He greets her gently, "Hey Portia."

"Why is _she_ still here?" Portia asks, her own voice laced with venom.

"_Jude_ is here still because I want her here. Portia, where do you get off lying to the hospital and saying we're still married?"

"It's the only way they would have let me in here. They would have to if _she_ would have left the room for five minutes. A wife should be with her husband when he's sick."

"Portia, even if we were still married, no offense, you'd still be out in the waiting room and Jude would be here with me."

"Are you telling me this little girl is more important than your wife?"

"Ex-wife and yes."

"Than _Angie_?" She asks with a raised brow.

He cringes at the mention of the girl's name, "Yes, even Angie. Portia you never did understand. I cared about you, I loved Angie, but I wasn't in love with either of you and there is no one on this earth who is more important than Jude. Jude will always be first in my life and in my heart no matter who else comes in or out of it. The sooner you grasp that the better off everyone will be."

"She's just a child Tom!"

"No, she's not. Really it wouldn't matter if she was; she has always and will always be my number one. Accept it and move on Portia. Look there's no real reason for you to stay. I appreciate your concern but Jude's going to be here until I'm released."

Jude watches as without another word Portia storms out of the room slamming the door shut behind her. "Well that was colorful…"

"I'm sorry about that. You've kind of always been a sore spot…"

"I know. It seems Angie still is too hm?"

"Can we not go there right now?"

"Tommy we're going to have to talk about all of this eventually, soon actually. I'll let it go for now though…"

He nods grateful just as Stuart walks in the room. "Hey kiddo, good to see you awake, you had us worried. I spoke to the doctor and as soon as your fever breaks and stays gone for at least two hours, _and_ you've spoken to psych they'll release you. However they'll only release you into the care of someone with strict orders for full time supervision for the next two weeks."

"So what does that mean?"

"It means they'll be releasing you to me and Jude's going to be staying at your place for the next two weeks. I'd have you stay at the house but you know how Sadie gets…"

He cringes at the thought of the ever bubbly and ditzy Sadie Harrison avid _Boyz Attack _fan. "Thanks Stuart. Are you sure you don't mind if she stays with me for that long though?"

"Remember the talk we had in the kitchen Tom?" He watches the young man nod before going on, "Good, then I'm not worried in the least. She'll take good care of you; she's more stubborn than you are too." He knows throwing them together, even when it's necessary is asking for them to really take hold of the possibility of attempting a relationship. In a way that's exactly what he's hoping for. He knows, unlike most fathers, that what's in front of him is the real thing.

--

Tom and Jude have spent the past two days of his hospital stay playing card games and board games and avoiding the serious topics, but now as they sit in front of the psychiatrist, Tom refusing to let Jude leave the room as un-orthodox as that is for the psychiatrist in front of them now. He knows he should be telling the woman the truth, but instead he's spent the past hour placating her to gain release from the hospital. He can feel Jude's eyes on him burning a hole in him. He knows he'll pay a high price with her later for pulling this, but he can't stand being in the hospital or having some stranger prying his brain.

Dr. Nora nods scribbling a few more notes before closing with, "All right Mr. Dutois, I believe you can be released into the care of the Harrisons."

"Thank you," He says with a million dollar smile plastered on his face as the woman stands and exits the room. The moment the door shuts Jude punches his shoulder, glaring at him. "What?" He asks innocently.

"You know what. You've got to stop this. You need to talk to someone, not put it off. I… I don't want to lose you…" The last of her words are a whisper as she looks down at her hands fidgeting in her lap.

He reaches over curling his index finger under her chin to lift it and pull her gaze to meet his own. "I will Jude, I promise. But not like this, please, please understand girl." He's begging her, stopping only as she silently nods and the door opens to reveal Stuart who has his signed discharge papers in his hand.

"Are you two ready to go?" Stuart asks trying to break the tension in his room before his daughter strangles Tommy.

"Definitely," Tommy says as he climbs out of the bed dressed in jeans and a white t-shirt, he takes Jude's hand between both of his own needing her touch and desperately needing her to understand his point of view. He smiles softly as she laces her fingers with his following him out of the hospital room as they make their way back to his place sitting together in the back seat of her father's car.

Jude walks in slightly ahead of Tommy prepared to clean up his alcoholic mess only to find Kwest had come in while they were in the hospital and done it. She grabs his hand when he reaches the door and walks silently with him to his room she lets go of his hand then to sit down on the edge of the bed patting the spot beside her. As soon as he sits down beside her cautiously, she starts, "What's going on with you Tommy? There's a lot you aren't telling me. You used to tell me everything, didn't you?"

"Almost yes, but Jude, there's a lot I've never talked to you about. Look I know you feel like I could tell you anything, and I feel like I can too, except there are some things in my life you've just been too young to talk to about. It was bad enough to go through it young as I did. Now, I'm just not ready to open it all back up. Can you please try and understand?" His voice stays soft as he avoids her eyes, begging with his words and the soft whispers of his voice, trying hard to suppress all of his demons.

She reaches up touching her hand to his cheek gently, "I want to understand Tommy, I do, but I can't when you won't talk to me. I've always known there were things you weren't telling me. I left it alone then, but now it's on the verge of taking you away from me. How can you ask me to stand by and let that happen?"

"I won't kill myself. I'm not suicidal."

"Actually you are. You're just doing it by being self-destructive."

"Jude, please…" He sniffs as tears spill silently down his cheeks as he looks up at her pleadingly.

"Okay, I'll let this go for tonight. But we are going to talk about this soon Tommy. I won't risk losing you to this behavior and your demons." She wraps her arms around his neck, climbing onto his laps as she straddles his hips to hold him the easiest way short of knocking him to the bed beneath them.

He wraps his arms around her waist burying his face in the crook of her neck and mumbling a thank you against her skin as his tears melt against her warm skin. He holds onto her in this position for a few minutes before he can't hold them both upright any more and he scoots back on the bed, clutching her against him as though to let go would cause her to disappear. He lays down still pressed against her, the two of them eventually falling asleep when his tears have subsided for the time being, their evidence drying against their skin.


	3. Chapter 3

**_AN: First of all I would like to thank all of my wonderful readers/reviewers for taking the time to check out my story and reviewing! Things in this chapter are going to get heated up a little bit. Also in this chapter the songs used are Broken by Lifehouse though I did change it a bit to suit the story also Loaded & Alone by Hinder_**

**Help Me Make It Through the Night**

**By An American Mom**

**Chapter Three: Broken Part Two**

Tommy paces in his dressing room next door to Jude's, pacing to the point he is near to wearing holes in the floor much like he'd caught Jude doing before her first performance here at the Vinyl Palace. The sound of her voice calling to him from the door way pulls him out of his thoughts and his panic he looks towards the door way hearing her voice again more clearly, "You're going to be watching from the side right? Or are you going to wear holes in the floor of your dressing room until the end of the concert and we're up?"

He smiles sheepishly at the smirk on her pouting lips painted a deep maroon as he walks towards the door taking her hand. He lifts it to his lips kissing the back of it sweetly as he says, "I'll always be watching you girl. Let's go."

He watches from the right side of the stage as she goes through her usual set, a wide smile on his face that brightens even more every time she glances in his direction. He's barely able to contain himself as he listens to her announce him while he's walking onto the stage towards her, his dark wash jeans and white t-shirt accompanied by his worn leather jacket which was a gift from her several years ago.

"Tonight in a special and possibly once in a life time performance my wonderful producer Tom Quincy is going to join me for my final song. He actually wrote this song for me to sing but our boss Darius saw things a little different. We hope you enjoy this very special duet." She says as he kisses her cheek softly before retreating to the piano on stage to put in his part of the duet they had spent several long nights perfecting for this performance. It's Tommy who starts off the performance, but both of their voices are equally dripping with emotion.

(**Tom/**_Jude)_

**The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight****  
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time  
****I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts  
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out  
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing**_  
With a broken heart that's still beating  
In the pain there is healing_**  
In your name I find meaning  
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on  
I'm barely holdin' on to you**

**The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head**_  
You tried your best to be guarded; you're an open book instead_**  
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes  
That are looking for purpose, they're still looking for life  
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing**_  
With a broken heart that's still beating  
In the pain there is healing_**  
In your name I find meaning**

**So I'm **_**holdin' on**_**, I'm **_**holdin' on**_**, I'm **_**holdin' on**_**  
I'm barely holdin' on to you  
I'm hanging on another day just to see what you will throw my way  
And I'm hanging on to the words you say  
You said that I will be ok, **_ok_

_The broken lights on the freeway left you here alone_**  
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home  
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing**_  
With a broken heart that's still beating  
In the pain there is healing_**  
In your name I find meaning**

**So I'm **_**holdin' on**_**, I'm **_**holdin' on**_**, I'm **_**holdin' on**_**  
I'm barely holdin' on to you  
I'm **_**holdin' on**_**  
I'm **_**holdin' on**_**  
I'm barely holdin' on to you**

The crowd in front of them erupt in thunderous applause, the sound would be deafening if it were not for the fact neither of them seem to be capable of hearing anything but the pounding of their hearts within their chests. Jude nods her head towards her band, Speid handing her an acoustic before exiting the stage with the other two members of the band while Tom looks at her confused standing from the piano bench and walking towards her. Her voice pours out into the mic above the roar of the crowd, silencing them as she announces, "As much as Darius hates last minute changes I have a surprise for Tommy and for all of you, my fans. I have a brand new song that not even Tommy here has heard. So, what do you say, do you guys want to hear it?" She holds the mic out towards the crowd her other hand cupping her ear as she grins listening to them beg for the treat, though Tommy's expression is cautious.

She motions for Tommy to take a seat on a stool next to her own as she climbs onto it with the guitar in her hands cradling it in its place as she begins. Her voice is even thicker with emotion now as she watches Tommy, singing more to him than the crowd but they all love every second of the new song.

_Just a kid, just a fool  
Always trying to play it so cool  
So he did what he knew  
He left home and he dropped out of school_

_He wanted fame, fame, fame  
Even just a little bit of shame, shame, shame  
He would sell his soul over in  
Changed his name, never going to get it back, no  
He's got money, but he's way off track  
So lonely that it makes him think back  
To his family and his friends and the lady he left back home  
He's loaded and alone  
He's loaded and alone_

_Still a kid, still a fool  
Still trying to break all the rules  
A big house, with too many rooms  
An ego, to go with it too_

_He got his fame, fame, fame  
More than just a little bit of shame, shame, shame  
That he sold his soul over in  
Changed his name, never going to get it back, no  
He's got money, but he's way off track  
So lonely that it makes him think back  
To his family and his friends and the lady he left back home_

_He's loaded and alone  
He's loaded and alone  
He got his fame, fame, fame  
Such a shame, shame, shame_

_He's got money, but he's way off track  
So lonely that it makes him think back  
To his family and his friends and the lady he left back home  
He's got money, but he's way off track  
So lonely that it makes him think back  
To his family and his friends and the lady he left back home  
_

_He's loaded and alone  
He's loaded and alone  
He wanted fame, fame, fame  
And such a shame, shame, shame  
He got his fame, fame, fame  
Such a shame, shame, shame_

_Yeah,  
Lonely, lonely, lonely, lone  
Lonely, lonely, lonely, lone  
Yeah, yeah, yeah _

Even though the roar of the crowd hasn't died down at all they exit back stage to change and cool down in their respective dressing rooms though Tommy isn't alone long before Portia barges in just itching to stir up trouble. She can't stand the idea of him actually finding any peace though not even he can fathom a guess as to why. "How can you look at Jude like that Tom? Don't you have any respect for yourself left? For the dead? For _Angie?_" She taunts him edging toward him.

"Portia, shut up!" He shouts trying to shove past her before giving up because he knows he can't get out the door around her without physically hurting her. So he resorts to something even he finds to be stupid and partially childish. He collapses onto the old sofa in the back of the dressing room grabbing a bottle of JD he'd stashed and downing it as quick as he can while trying to block out at least the majority of what she's saying.

A few of the words Portia is screaming at him break through in a jumbled and soon hazy mess, "Angie. Your fault. Over. Worthless. Idiot. Asshole."

Finally when he's had enough he shouts up at her again. "I get it! Okay Portia?! I know! Now go away and leave me the hell alone you obnoxious bitch!" It was calling her a bitch of course that finally forced her to realize she'd gotten to him enough that she was willing to leave. Once she's gone he hangs his head low hidden in his hands as he tries to make the room stop spinning. He doesn't even hear Jude as she enters his dressing room soon after Portia's departure.

"Tommy?" She calls gently, worried.

"Just go away. You said it all, stop saying it… Please stop… Make it stop…" He makes no sense, not even grasping it's Jude who's come to find him, still reeling and hanging onto the concept of Portia and her hateful words so much like the ones his mother had used when Jude and he were small.

She crosses the room to him, sighing as she notices the empty liquor bottle on the floor beside his feet. She stops in front of him her hands reaching out allowing her fingers to slide into his thick dark hair below where he cakes it with gel, fingertips sliding along the back of his neck over his shoulders and down his arms soothingly to pull his attention to her and away from what's hurting him. "Tommy…" She calls his name so softly, a whispered breath.

He looks up slowly, her gentleness bringing him to her presence but not out of the pain this time as he wraps his arms around her waist suddenly pressing his tears soaked face into her stomach silently. His sobs though they make no sound cause his upper body to convulse against her, as if the wall around his emotions has shattered, between Portia's visit and the final two songs of the evening he just can't compose himself any longer.


	4. Chapter 4

_**AN: Wow, we're already on chapter four! For those who are wondering how many chapter this installment is going to have, at this point I'm unsure. I'm still working on chapter six but I'd guess at least two more chapters after that before I end this one to start another installment in this little mini series. Thank you all so much for your wonderful reviews! It really helps keep me going. Well, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, things are really going to get interesting now! Ciao!**_

**Help Me Make It Through the Night**

**By An American Mom**

**Chapter Four: Loaded and Alone**

Seeing as he'd obviously been drinking she takes the keys to the Viper from him and calls her dad from the car, "Hey dad I'm taking Tommy back to his place he's had a bit too much to drink…" She pauses listening to her dad's response half heartedly while out of the corner of her eyes she sees Tommy shaking his head violently. "Hold on one second dad," She looks at Tom fully now, "What?"

"Not the apartment, please Jude…" His voice is pleading even more so than his hazy crystal blue eyes.

"Correction, I'm taking him to the house. Good thing Sadie's gone for the weekend hm? Yeah I'll be careful, thanks Dad." She hangs up and puts the car into gear, having had a few lessons since her birthday from Tommy to learn how to not destroy the clutch when driving, or murder dogs on sidewalks. She watches him out of the corner of her eyes while she's driving asking gently, "Why don't you want to go home?"

"Going with you is home Jude… I just need it…"

She listens to his voice nearly break as he admits needing her in his own way. She reaches out briefly patting his knee before putting her hand back on the gear shift changing into fourth as the speed limit increases. It doesn't take them long to get to her house from the club especially since she's taken lessons from Tommy.

Once they get inside and he gets settled into her bed she sits awake beside him with the lamp on the night stand turned on and her homework in her lap, mostly for something to do while she watches him sleep fitfully. His sleep is so fitful in fact that he's only asleep for an hour before he's tossing and turning so violently she sets her homework on the night stand reaching over to shake him and try and wake him. She doesn't know what to say or do but she knows whatever happened between him and Portia is killing him from the inside out.

She hears him mumble Angie's name moments before his eyes flutter open and that's when it occurs to her what she should have known in the first place. Tonight it had been five years to the day since she'd died. She still doesn't know the details of what happened but she knows he lost her and it had been bad, really bad. Shortly after it had originally happened he'd left Portia and his tour to come and see her here in Toronto, climbing into her bedroom window wasted and ill from the amount he'd consumed.

"Oh God Jude…" He cries out in pain as he looks into her worried blue eyes wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her slender body flush against his own. He can feel her warmth even through the white A-top she wears, burying his face against her chest desperate to hear her heartbeat.

"Talk to me Tommy, please, stop letting this eat you alive Quincy." She coos against the top of his head, her fingers brushing soothingly against the bare skin of his back.

"I can't… It hurts, so much. But it's supposed to, it's all my fault." His voice is mumbled against her chest.

"What is?"

"Angie."

"Tommy, what happened between you and Angie? It's been five years; it's time you talked it out. Please, you won't talk to a professional and that's okay, but you've got to talk to someone…If you don't talk to me I'll insist you see someone."

"Please don't… Don't do this to me." He pleads as he pulls his head from its resting place and looks into her eyes pleading with his own.

"Then talk to me!" She shouts in response.

"I can't!" He nearly shouts in return pushing himself from her and the bed landing with a thud on the floor and scooting to the wall pulling his knees to his chest as if to run from the story itself.

She climbs out of bed quickly kneeling down in front of him as she places her hands on his arms that are wrapped around his drawn up knees. "You have to Tommy; you can't go on like this."

"Girl, please…" He begs trying to avoid speaking the words or seeing the whole thing all over again, his head shaking violently. But he can see she's not giving up and his resolve against it falters his voice breaking as he starts, "I was married to Portia when I started seeing Angie, remember?" He pauses watching her reaction before going on, "Portia found out and so did Darius, it became a choice between Portia which meant my career, and Angie. I carried about her, I really did. I cared about both of them, but I didn't love her at least like that, and I knew I'd leave her eventually same as I would eventually find a way to divorce Portia…" He lays his head back against the wall looking up at the ceiling as he goes on his voice cracking every other word from the emotion dripping from the words. "Angie was upset to say the least when I ended things… I should have… I should have hid my car keys… her keys… I should have called her a cab… Something!"

When his words stop making sense she breaks her own silence to ask, "Why?"

"She took my keys… She drove off in _my_ car… She wrapped it around a tree… That's how she died Jude… It was all my fault…" Tears spill down his cheeks, after five years he's finally said what he's trapped inside himself, the guilt he feels.

"Tommy… You can't blame yourself for that. What could you have done, honestly?"

"I shouldn't have left my keys where she could get them! I should have stopped her from leaving! I don't know! I should have done _something_! "He pushes himself from the floor and wall without hitting her as he walks halfway across the room his hands grasping the sides of his head in frustration.

Jude pushes herself from the floor to him and reaches up grabbing his arm and pulling him around to face her. "Tommy, look at me." She waits until he finally gives in and looks down at her then she lifts her hand and places it against his damp cheek. "It was not your fault. There's nothing you could have done Tommy, and killing yourself over it isn't going to do any good either. It won't bring her back, but it will break a lot of hearts."

"That's just it Jude, all I know how to do is break hearts and screw everything up." Despite the despair in his voice he turns his cheek into her hand, he knows he doesn't deserve to have her in his life but at the same time he can't bring himself to pull away. He's only survived this long because of her presence in his life. But tonight he can't stop himself from question it, "Why haven't you left me yet? I'm not good enough…" He finally pulls himself out of her grasp to plop down on the foot of her bed his head falling forward into his waiting hands as he waits for it, preparing for the possibility she'll finally realize he doesn't deserve to have her in any fashion.

She shakes her head crossing the short distance to stand in front of him, leaning down long enough to curl her hand under his chin and lift his head to meet her gaze. "Now you listen here Thomas Anthony Dutois, I have not nor will I ever leave you because you're my best friend. You are so much more than you give yourself credit for. I know the lies your momma always used to tell you, but I promise you that's all it was. You've made mistakes, but who the hell hasn't? You've got the biggest heart of anyone I know. I wish you would see yourself clearly Quincy, but since you obviously can't you should listen to _me_." She places her hands on both of his cheeks, the pads of her thumbs brushing soothingly against the drying tracks of tears as she looks down at him.

He can see all the emotions as they play over her beautiful features and even the never ending love in the depths of her bright blue eyes. He can feel himself falling deeper into their depths. It's not that he hasn't already said it in his own way, so many times since her birthday. The problem is he's scared to death she will wake up and realize he isn't good enough and he doesn't deserve her. "She's my mother Jude, and she's right…" The words _mother's always right_ replaying in his head over and over again as he pulls his face out of her grasp lowering his head again to his hands.

She sighs softly in frustration she kneels down in front of him to look up into his eyes through his hands, "Just because she's your mother doesn't make her right. I don't know what her issues are Tommy, but that's all it is, _her_ issues. You're such a good man Tommy, honest. Do you trust me?"

"With my life Jude, you know that…" He lifts his head slightly reaching out to place the palm of his hand against the smooth curve of her cheek, it kills him to see such pain in her eyes because of the way his mother's always treated him.

"Then trust that I know you better than even she does and I know just how truly wonderful you are, okay?"

"I'll try Jude, I'll try." He leans his forehead against hers, tilting just enough to place a feather light kiss on the end of her nose causing her to smile which of course in turn causes the smallest smile to play across his own lips. He thinks to himself, _she's so beautiful when she smiles…_

Jude stands and walks to the side of the bed climbing in and patting his usual spot beside her. "Let's get some sleep Tommy. Don't think about anyone else, tonight no one else exists except you and me, okay?"

He crawls from the foot of the bed to the empty place beside her, once they're both under the covers he lays on his side facing her as she does the same wrapping their arms around each other the way they have always done. "Just you and me girl… Goodnight…"

When morning comes Jude slips out of bed quietly silencing his cell phone and grabbing hers without waking him. She changes into a pair of holey jeans and a black tank top and her dying pair of black converse sneakers and pulls her flaming red hair into a ponytail. She descends the stairs two at a time trying to make it to the kitchen before her dad leaves for work at the ungodly hour of 8am. "Morning dad," She greets him with a mischievous smile before grabbing a package of strawberry pop-tarts from the cupboard.

Stuart greets his daughter with a questioning quirk of his brow, "Morning honey, why are you up so early when you don't even have to be in the studio for the next couple of days? "

"I need to run into the studio to give Portia a piece of my mind before Tommy wakes up… Do you think you could maybe be a tiny bit late to work and keep him occupied for me until I get back, please?"

He looks at his watch for a moment contemplating before he nods, "Sure. Just try and hurry, okay?"

She nods quickly pecking his cheek and leaving pop-tart crumbs in her wake before she tucks the keys to the Viper into her pocket and rushes out to the car. She doesn't have her license and sure she could get into a world of trouble, if she got caught. This of course being one of the few bad influences Tommy ever bestowed on her, teaching her to drive before she's legal and allowing her to even touch the Viper unsupervised.

During the fifteen minute drive to the studio she rehearses what she's going to say to the older woman, luckily pulling into the lot in the back at the same time as Portia. She climbs out of the Viper, the top down of course just as Portia turns around recognizing the familiar hum of the engine.

Shock is an understatement when describing the expression across her caramel colored features as she curls both hands on her hips and raises a brow in Jude's direction. As soon as Jude's standing in front of her she starts in, "Do you know I could call the police on you right now for grand theft auto?"

"Actually, you can't. I have permanent permission to drive the Viper with or without Tommy, who do you think taught me?" Jude says with a smug expression before growing serious and not allowing Portia to respond to her first statement. "I'm not here long, just long enough to make something very clear to you. If you _ever_ talk to Tommy about _anything_ unrelated to business I will make certain you regret it. I guarantee I will make your life a living hell. You have _no_ right to treat him that way. I understand your farce of a marriage ended badly; I know he cheated on you with Angie and several others. I don't care. It does not give you the right to show him the amount of disrespect you showed him last night."

"Excuse me? Listen up little girl, conversations between Tom and myself are our business not yours."

"The hell it isn't. Look I get that your pride is still wounded over Angie, and honestly I think you feel guilty about something or else you wouldn't be trying so damn hard to make him miserable over her death five years later when you two have been divorced longer than you were even married. So get the hell over whatever it is you did and leave him alone or if I have to I'll hire someone and find out exactly what you're hiding."

Portia growls, in a rather un-intimidating fashion closing the distance between her and Jude with a predatory air only to have Kwest step between them as he'd arrived in the middle of their dispute. "Don't even think about it Portia," He warns.

"Stay out of this Kwest! Did you just hear how she spoke to me? And she stole Tom's precious Viper!" Portia retorts sounding more like a five year old throwing a tantrum than a grown woman.

"Portia, this is Tom we're talking about, do you really think anyone is capable of stealing that car? Take a look at the keys in her hands; those are _her_ keys, as in her copy of the keys to the Viper, the apartment, everything he owns. Even I'm not allowed to drive the Viper, but he let her take it to get her permit two weeks ago." He puts his hand up in front of Portia to stop her from side stepping him to get to Jude. "Don't. She's not bluffing and she's got more than enough money to hire someone. So confess, back the hell off, or face the consequences. There's no one more serious about him than Jude."

"We'll see about this, I'll just go have a talk with Darius." She folds her arms over her chest as though that would actually scare either of them.

"You might be his little sister and he'll do a lot for you but anything that would cost him money? Get real, you know better than that Portia. Jude is his best selling _platinum _artists and she's barely sixteen!" He cocks his head to the side eyeing her carefully and her overly defensive nature, "Jude's right, you're hiding something aren't you? What'd you do to him?"

"Nothing!" She says with her voice a little too high to be believable.

"Let's try the truth now." His brow arches as they both close in on her but Portia literally turns tail and runs into the studio while Kwest puts up an arm to stop her from chasing after the woman. "No, just hire someone Jude. I think you're right, something isn't right here. I should have seen it a long time ago. But for Tom's peace of mind, don't let him know you're doing it but follow through and hire someone to dig up the truth. I'll help you find the best if you want."

"Could you? It'll be easier to keep it from Tommy if you find someone for me, I'll pay for it." Jude asks pleadingly.

"No problem, for now just get back to Tom and I'll send you a text as soon as I have the information."

"Thanks Kwest." She hugs him before hopping back into the car and driving back home, back to Tommy.


	5. Chapter 5

**_AN: Thank you to all of you who have reviewed. I am so glad all of you are enjoying this sequel, there's probably only two or three chapters left in this one but it is likely I will write a third._**

**Help Me Make It Through the Night**

**By An American Mom**

**Chapter Five: Secrets**

It's the first day back in the studio after the concert when Tom walks in on Jude and Kwest whispering over steaming mugs of coffee in the middle of hospitality. He clears his throat, "Hey, what's going on you two?"

"Tommy! Um… well… you see…" Jude stutters looking to Kwest for help. She wants to tell him what's going on but she isn't sure they should.

"Why don't we all go to your office T?" Kwest suggests knowing that hospitality is not the place to even consider getting into this with him, though he's as torn as Jude about telling him the truth.

"Fine," He says curtly motioning for Kwest and Jude to go first, following right behind them. Once they're inside his office he sits down at his desk leaning back in his chair with his arms folded over his chest waiting for them to begin.

"Remember the day after the concert how I said I came down and had a chat with Portia?" She watches him nod in remembrance before going on, "In talking to her Kwest and I both realized the reason she's treating you the way she is she's hiding something, something she feels very guilty about. So Kwest helped me find a PI to hire to help us find out just what she's hiding." She looks down sheepishly not sure how he's going to respond to the news.

"And? What did he find out?" Tom remains expressionless as he questions her further, his crystal blue eyes fixed on her.

"Kwest got a call from the guy last night; he wants us to come in this afternoon to give us what he's found so far."

"Which is when you walked in; I was checking with her if she thought she could be free at 4:15 today to meet with him," Kwest adds.

"I see." He falls silent looking between his two friends his face still betraying no emotion until he shifts, unfolding his arms and resting them on his desk his hands folding together. He leans forward still eyeing both of them as he says softly. "I want to go with you."

Jude's eyes widen as she looks up at him, "Are you sure?" She knows whatever this guy has found out about his ex-wife might be really bad. The information could go both ways, it could help Tommy realize he's better than Portia ever allowed him to realize, or it could make him feel a million times worse.

"I'm sure. I have a right to know what, if anything, she's been hiding Harrison."

"I agree." She turns to Kwest, "Call him and tell him we'll all be there this afternoon."

"I'm on it." Kwest nods to the both of them before leaving the office to go make the call.

As soon as the door closes again Tom's expression finally changes betraying the hurt he feels as he stares at her from the other side of his desk. "Why did you keep this from me?"

"I just wanted to protect you Tommy. I don't know what she's hiding, how it'll affect you. I sort of wanted to find out before you so that if whatever it is will only hurt you then, well you wouldn't have to know… At least not now, I know I'd never have kept it from you for long, but at least I'd have an idea how to tell you and maybe lessen the blow. I'm sorry..." She looks down at her hands, wringing them in her lap nervously.

He stands slowly from his desk, the leather chair creaking in the silent room. He walks around the desk and kneels down on the floor in front of Jude to meet her gaze as she'd done a few days ago in her bedroom. "I know you didn't mean to Harrison, but _you_ keeping things from me is so much more painful than anything you could find out about Portia. I trust you more than anyone else in the world…" His voice betrays the hurt he feels.

She can feel the tears burn her eyes as they cling to her lashes and spill down her cheeks. "I really wasn't trying to hurt you Tommy. I just wanted to help… I wanted to protect you… You've always protected me; it was supposed to be my turn."

"Don't you know you've always protected the most important part of me? You've always protected my heart Jude. Because of you it's never been truly broken because I never had it to give to someone who might break it. Look, I'm not mad at you, just please next time don't hide it from me. Deal?" He reaches out and cups her chin with his hand lifting it to meet his gaze before he leans in and kisses the corner of her mouth softly. When he pulls back he smiles reassuringly and stands pulling her up with him and wrapping his arms around her, he should be mad but he can't bring himself to be. She's been the only one who ever truly looked after him in every way possible, and she truly has always had his heart safe against hers.

--

At 4:10 Kwest, Tommy, and Jude are all sitting in the office of John Rivers Private Investigator waiting to hear just what he's dug up on Tom's ex-wife. Tom is slouched nervously in a hard leather chair between Kwest and Jude, his hand resting in hers and squeezing to keep himself grounded. To anyone but her he doesn't look nervous at all, he looks nonchalant to the naked eye but he's more than well aware Jude knows the truth each time he feels the pad of her thumb brush across his hand.

"Now Mr. Quincy, Miss Harrison and Mr. Taylor here hired me to find out what your ex-wife is hiding or has been hiding since the time of your marriage to her. Are you sure you want to know? In my experience many of the people who hire me don't really want to know the truth, so before we go one you need to be sure." Mr. Rivers states in pure business fashion his hands folded and resting on top of a manila folder on his desk.

"I'm sure." Tommy says nodding briefly and waiting as he pulls Jude's hand into his lap, his free hand tracing designs idly on the back of her small hand.

"All right Mr. Quincy. Based on the information I gathered from Miss Harrison and Mr. Taylor here I started my search around the time of," He pauses pulling papers from the folder on his desk and adjusting his glasses as he searches for the name he needs before continuing, "Angela James' death. It occurred to me in the original information provided by your friends here that it was the most likely point in your marriage that she would have possibly had something to hide." He pauses watching the faces of the three young adults in front of him, frowning slightly before he goes on though it bothers him that Tom shows no emotion. "Now in digging around the time of the accident I was able to discover that Miss James' death was not an accident as you were led to believe." He pauses once again as he allows them to process the information, watching as both Miss Harrison and Mr. Taylor's eyes widen but Mr. Quincy remains expressionless. "It seems your ex-brother in-law Mr. Mills had the police report doctored and the original hidden by paying off the chief of police. In the original police report it was discovered that the cause of Miss James' accident was due to the fact someone had cut the brakes to the car she was driving. It is my understanding that was your vehicle Mr. Quincy, correct?" As Tom nods he goes on, "Now it's hard, if not impossible, to determine who cut the brakes on the vehicle. I will say in my professional opinion based on the information provided by your friends and the information I've gathered in regards to Mrs. Quincy's character that it's extremely likely she was responsible for the malicious act. Whether it was meant for you or for Miss James is anyone's guess."

"Thank you for your time Mr. Rivers." Tom says carefully, calculating his words with exact precision while keeping all emotion from his voice. He stands, releasing Jude's hand as he walks silently from the office back out to his Viper in the parking lot.

"May I have a copy of your findings?" Jude asks as she clears her throat to disguise her concern for Tommy. As soon as Mr. Rivers hands the folder over to her she nods and walks out of the office with Kwest not far behind her. It was a lot to take in for her; she could only imagine how it must before Tommy.

When she reaches the parking lot she finds Tommy leaning against the Viper with his hands in his pockets looking down at his feet, ankles crossed. She smiles softly as he looks up hearing her approach. "Hey, that was a lot to take in hm?"

He nods silently walking around to the driver's side of the car and opening the door motioning for her to get in. He watches her hesitate and waits until she's in and settled before going around to the passenger side and getting in. "Is Sadie home today?" When Jude nods he mimics the movement, his voice still void of emotion. "Let's go to the apartment then." He lays his head against the back of the seat closing his eyes behind his dark sunglasses and trying to process all of what he's learned today and the fact there was a very real chance that the accident wasn't his fault. He's spent five years blaming himself that he can hardly wrap his head around it, though in a way he still views it as his fault after all, it was _his_ car.

The drive to the apartment is silent as is the walk upstairs and into his immaculate penthouse apartment; he takes a seat on the sofa watching as Jude sits down on the arm of it beside him. "I can't seem to really process this… Was she trying to kill me? Did she know Angie would take my car? Was she just trying to hurt me? I just don't get it Jude…" He sighs leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he holds his head in his hands.

Jude leans over rubbing his back gently as she shrugs, "I don't know Tommy. She's a bit off if you ask me, always was, so I can't say what was going through her mind. She'd take me out if she had half a chance though, that much I know."

He immediately sits up looking at her with wide crystal blue eyes, "What?"

"She seriously has it out for me, you haven't noticed that? She's been that way ever since the concert. Why do you think Kwest has gone with me any time I have to see her?" It was true, for the past few days since the scene in the parking lot the few times she's had to see Portia for professional reasons they'd found excuses as to why Kwest had to go with her. After all had she asked Tommy to go it would have only made things worse.

"I'm so sorry girl… It's all my fault. God now you're even being drug into my mess!"

She thumps his shoulder with the back of her hand before sliding from the arm of the sofa onto his lap sliding her arm around his shoulder and bringing her other hand up placing it on his cheek to pull his gaze to meet her own. "I wouldn't trade you for anything in the world Tommy, you know that. She doesn't scare me, even if it turns out she is the one who cut your brakes, which I am inclined to agree is very likely. No one will tear us apart, not ever. You certainly won't convince me I'm better off without you so don't even try. You are so much better than you realize damn it. Open your eyes, or better yet start seeing yourself through mine!" She pulls his face closer then to rest her forehead on his.

"I don't what I ever did to deserve you Harrison but I'll spend the rest of my life on my knees thanking God if he lets me keep you." His eyes close as he inhales her scent. It takes all of his self control not to tell her exactly how deep his feelings for her run, what truly stops him is his own self doubt.

"It will always be you and me Tommy, nothing can change that."

He smiles softly opening his eyes and pulling his face from hers as he holds her body against his own. "How does ordering Chinese, crawling into bed, and watching _My Girl_ sound?"

"Like heaven, you call in the order and I'll go get the movie ready." She slides from his lap as reluctantly as he is to release her, though both know it won't be long before they're curled up in his bed watching their favorite movie.


	6. Chapter 6

_**AN: Happy Valentine's Day my wonderful and faithful readers/reviewers! This is my special Valentine's Day chapter with what I hope you will all agree is some wonderful and long anticipated Jommyness! Song or pieces of songs used are, Valentine; Martina McBride, How Did I Fall in Love With You; BSB**_

**Help Me Make It Through the Night**

**By An American Mom**

**Chapter Six: Valentine**

He knocks on the door of the Harrison home knowing full well he could just walk in and also that Jude is in school at the moment, but then that's his reason for showing up now. He walks in as Stuart opens the door expectantly and follows him into the kitchen. Both men are silent until they're seated at the kitchen table across from each other. He folds his hands on the table in front of him and takes a deep breath before looking up and meeting Stuart's curious gaze. "I know you're wondering why I asked to see you while the girls are in school." He pauses swallowing hard as he tries to gather his thoughts and his courage before continuing, "It's no secret I admire and respect you, your opinion of me and the choices I make in my life means nearly as much to me as Jude's. So I wish to ask your permission for something that means, well it means everything to me actually."

"I see. What do you need to ask me son?" Stuart maintains a casual expression though his curiosity is piqued without a doubt as he studies the young man in front of him. His mind replays the last ten years and how he's watched Tom grow up into the man sitting across the table from him looking as nervous as a boy asking his girlfriend's father for her hand.

"Mr. Harrison, Stuart, I would like your permission to date Jude." He lifts a hand to stop Stuart from speaking yet as he shakes his head. "Actually that's not quite what I want to do. I want to properly; I guess court would be the term to use. Yes, I would like your permission to court Jude. I know our relationship is such that some of the normal courting rules don't really apply but the difference between dating her and courting her is that I wish to see her with the intent to one day sit down with you at this table again and be worthy of your permission to marry her." He looks at Stuart, a man he regards as a surrogate father in his life as Stuart is the only true father figure he's ever known.

"Let me make sure I understand you Tom. You wish to start exclusively seeing my sixteen year old daughter with the intent to ask for her hand down the line, correct?"

"Yes sir."

"Have you spoken to Jude to see what her feelings are in this regard?"

"No sir. I wanted to have your permission before I ask to take her out. I want your blessing on this."

"Then my blessing you have. I've watched you grow up Tom; I know you'll take care of my little girl and her heart. When are you going to ask her?"

"In hopes you would give me your blessing I have planned a very special Valentine's Day for her. It seemed like the perfect time seeing as it's only a few days from now and we always spend it together even when I was married," The subtle mention of his ex-wife causes him to cringe.

"Well I don't think you'll have a problem getting her to say yes Tom. I know you're in denial and blind as well but you've had her heart as long as she's had yours if not longer. You'll see that I'm right." He stands crossing the short distance to place his hand on Tom's shoulder giving it a slight squeeze. Once Tom stands up he pulls him into a brief hug, after all he's always regarded him as the son he never had but yet some how always knew he might have some day.

--

When her school day ends Friday the fourteenth she trudges up the stairs to her room the way she always does, to put her things away before getting ready to head to the studio or to see Tommy as the plan was for today. She looks around the room catching something red out of the corner of her eyes on the windowsill just as she sets her backpack down on the floor. She pushes the covers aside and climbs out of bed walking across the room to retrieve whatever is lying on her windowsill. She reaches out to pick up what she discovers is a single long stem red rose with a small amount of babies breathe surrounding it and a thin red ribbon tried around the middle. Beneath the rose is a white envelope she picks up as well opening it curiously. The card is a deep red with a risen silver rose on the front with no words; she opens the card which reads in an elegant red script on ivory colored paper;

Even if the sun refused to shine  
Even if romance ran out of rhyme  
You would still have my heart until the end of time  
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine

She smiles when she sees the card is signed with their little french phrase translating to; I love you as always Tommy. Out of the back flap of the card a small piece of paper falls out onto the floor. She kneels down picking it up to read it. It says, _turn around_. She turns around to find Tommy standing in the middle of her bedroom holding at least two dozen red roses and babies breathe in a dark red silk shirt and black slacks and a huge smile.

"Happy Valentine's Day girl," He greets simply as she crosses the room to him. He hands her the roses and kisses her forehead gently before folding his hands behind his back.

"Thank you Tommy, these are beautiful. But what's going on? Don't we usually just lounge in our pjs and watch movies?" She looks at him curiously.

"Usually yes, but remember back around your birthday when I gave you something more befitting of a woman? I'd like to extend the same to this holiday. Actually I would like you to get dressed up tonight, I would like to take you to dinner if you'll let me." A faint hue of crimson rises into his cheeks as he tries again to get the right words out. "I'd like to take you out, on a date this evening, like adults and I don't mean just as my friend Jude. Will you do me the honor of being my date for Valentine's Day?"

She looks up at him with wide shock filled eyes before nodding slowly and silently trying to force her brain to process speech. She's silent for three or four minutes before she remembers how to use her voice. "I'd love to." She smiles softly as he breathes a sigh of relief. She finds it hilarious that he would for a second consider the possibility of her saying no to him, ever.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" He smiles mischievously as he walks over to her closet opening the door. Hanging on the back of the door is, a beautiful strapless red silk dress with a heart shaped neckline and matching red gloves draped over the top. His smile widens when Jude's jaw drops as she gasps.

"Tommy, it's beautiful!" She gushes as she walks across the room and lifts a hand fingering the delicate and expensive fabric. Out of the corner of her eyes she sees a pair of beautiful simple red flats that will lacy up with very thin red ribbons up to her knees like ballet shoes on the floor of her closet. She kneels down lifting them up before turning to face him with a smile, "You really thought of everything didn't you?"

"I tried to at least. After all you've done for me, since this has always been our day I decided it should be as perfect and special as you are to me. I'll be downstairs while you get ready." He crosses the room to her kissing the top of her head softly, his eyes closing for a brief moment before he leaves the room, leaving to allow her to get dressed and discover more of the gifts he's left for her.

As soon as he leaves her alone in her room she grabs her dress and the gloves escaping quickly to the bathroom across the hall from her room to shower and change. The two taking only about fifteen minutes, however drying her fiery red hair takes her a good twenty with the thickness of her flaming locks. She scrunches her hair gently as she dries it allowing it to dry in a wavy fashion, spraying it just enough so it doesn't frizz before applying the thinnest veil of make-up to her pale almost porcelain features.

She then opens her small jewelry box to put back on her necklace, having removed it to shower, her eyes widening as she notices someone has been in the bathroom during her shower! Lying on the crushed velvet liner of the box on either side of her necklace is a pair of diamond studded earrings in the shape of music notes to match the one encrusted on the front of the heart pendant she's now wearing. She smiles knowing he had to have been very quiet to sneak in and deliver these while she showered. She places the dangling bits of silver and diamond into each lobe before sliding on the red silk gloves and smiling at her own more adult reflection before returning to her room just long enough to grab a small matching purse she'd found in the closet next to the shoes he had provided.

Once her shoes are in place she grabs the small purse again placing her phone inside she walks to the top of the stairs, her hands clutching the smooth fabric and lifting it a few inches off of the floor to prevent tripping. She calls out, "Dad, Tommy?" She waits until she sees both of them on either side of the stairs at the bottom waiting for her, staring up at her the way she'd always seen people looking at Sadie, who thankfully tonight had plans that had kept her out of the house this entire time.

"You look amazing Jude." Tommy says with a soft smile as he holds his hand out to her, watching as she walks down the stairs towards him. He takes her gloved hand into his own as she reaches him, leaning in to kiss her cheek softly.

"Absolutely stunning kiddo, all grown up." Stuart adds as he too kisses her cheek before turning to Tommy. "Have a wonderful evening, take good care of my baby girl Tom.

"I will Stuart, you have my word." He winks at Stuart when Jude's attention is on her father before leading her out to the driveway where he has a small limo waiting for them, the door already standing open with their driver beside it.

"A limo Tommy, you really are going all out tonight aren't you?" Jude says in astonishment as she climbs in carefully.

"I told you, I want everything to be perfect for you tonight Jude." He says quietly as he climbs in beside her once again taking her hand as they drive to the restaurant.

When the car pulls up to Opus, a very formal restaurant, Tom climbs out and holds out his hand to her helping her out and watching her face light up when she sees where they are. Hand in hand he walks her into the restaurant, watching her as they are led to their table in a secluded corner, candles on the table. He pulls her chair out for her, seating her before sitting across the table from her. "This is amazing Tommy…" She breathes as her bright blue eyes take in the secluded table, the candles, and of course his very gentlemanly behavior.

"This is just the beginning girl."

--

After eating their wonderful meals, talking and laughing as on any other occasion he stands and excuses himself. He kisses the top of her head as he walks past her towards the manager whispering into the gentleman's ear before the man sets off to prepare Tom's request. He walks about half way back to the table in a large open space caddy-corner to their table.

When the manager approaches him now he is followed by two waiters pushing a beautiful baby grand piano behind him, a third waiter pushing the bench. Some how they all manage to be quiet enough they do not attract Jude's attention as they set candles on the top of the piano, the third waiter carrying a small dark red velvet box over to Jude before pointing in Tom's direction just as he sits down at the piano. His fingers move swiftly over the keys and the soft melody plays a few moments before his voice takes flight, a smile lighting his features as he says what he needs to say in the only way either of them is ever likely to understand.

_Remember when, we never needed each other  
The best of friends like sister and brother  
We understood we'd never be alone  
Those days are gone, now I want you so much  
The night is long and I need your touch  
Don't know what to say  
Never meant to feel this way  
Don't wanna be alone tonight_

_What can I do to make you mine?  
Fallen so hard, so fast this time  
What did I say, what did you do?  
How did I fall in love with you?  
_

_I hear your voice and I start to tremble  
Brings back the child that I resemble  
I cannot pretend that we can still be friends  
Don't wanna be alone tonight  
_

_What can I do to make you mine?  
Fallen so hard, so fast this time  
What did I say, what did you do?  
How did I fall in love with you?_

_Ooh I wanna say this right  
And it has to be tonight  
Just need you to know  
I don't wanna live this life  
I don't wanna say goodbye  
With you I wanna spend the rest of my life  
_

_What can I do to make you mine?  
Fallen so hard, so fast this time  
What did I say, what did you do?  
How did I fall in love with you?  
_

_What can I do to make you mine?  
Fallen so hard, so fast this time  
Everything's changed, we never knew  
How did I fall in love with you?_

Now the waiter who had handed Jude the small box had remained at her side during Tommy's song and with a nod from him as the last chord fades into silence he opens the box on the table in front of Jude revealing a thing silver band with several small diamonds all the way around in the shape of stars, then in the center two slightly larger stars crafted from her birthstone and Tommy's. When she pulls the ring from where it's nestled in the black velvet she'd find an inscription matching the necklace of course, 'My Girl.'

"I-I don't… What…" She stutters a moment before giving up as she looks at Tommy with a confused but awestruck expression.

He stands moving from the piano bench to kneel down at her side taking the ring from her and sliding it onto the ring finger of her left hand as he speaks. "I'm not sure when it happened, maybe it's always been there and buried deep inside of me, but somewhere in the time you've been my best friend I've fallen completely in love with you girl. This ring is my promise to you Jude. I promise to always be your best friend, to always be by your side whenever you ask. I promise that I'll love you from now until long after I've taken my last breath." He pauses and takes a deep breath before continuing his heartfelt speech, his crystal blue eyes locked on hers. "You've always been my girl Jude, nothing and no one can change that, but tonight I want to ask you to be my girl and my love. I know you're only sixteen so I'm not asking for forever, yet. But I want the chance to be worthy of forever with you. Someday I want to have the right to kneel down in front of you and ask you to be my wife. But for now, will you be mine Jude?"

Her bright blue eyes had grown wide the moment he had knelt down beside her chair and stared up at her so intensely. She'd listen to every word he'd said and every breath he'd taken. She can see the fear and the hope in the depths of his eyes as well as more love than she's ever seen a man show for a woman. For a fleeting moment she tears her gaze from his to admire the ring before looking back at him silently, her right hand lifting and pressing gently against his cheek, her thumb just beneath his eye. "Don't you know my heart has always belonged to you?"

"Does that mean…" He lets his questioning words trail off afraid to really ask the question.

"Of course I mean yes Tommy."

He stands quickly pulling her to her feet and then capturing her face in his hands for a moment before tilting his head down and capturing her lips softly and passionately with his own. When he releases her he takes her by the hand, paying their bill and leading her out of the restaurant into the night.

"Where are we going Tommy?" She asks, smiling brightly as her fingers remain laced with his.

"We're going to go watch our movie like we do every year of course." He taps the end of her nose with his fingertip as he leads her down the street to a small theatre near the restaurant. He ushers her inside nodding his head to the ticket taker who leads them to theatre 7, holding the door open for both of them. "Do you remember the first time we came here?"

"It was when My Girl first came out, our first Valentine's Day during your tour." She answers softly, her voice full of memory.

"That we did, and we've watched it together every year since on this day. So tonight I thought, what better way to end our first real date…" He lowers his voice to a sheepish whispers as he calls it their first date, unsure if she'll accept that term for tonight though it had truly been his intent.

She loops her arms around his as they take their usual seats second level, front row, center. "It's perfect ending Tommy, thank you."

"Anything for you, always," He kisses the top of her head as the movie starts and they both fall silent nestled up against each other.


	7. Chapter 7

**_AN: Hello my wonderful readers/reviewers! I am so sorry for the delay in posting this chapter but I am so happy to see so many of you enjoyed my Valentine's Day update! I hope all of your Valentine's Days were filled with love and excitement in and in your own way being as spoiled as our Jude was in the last chapter! I know I was! (And after being with the same guy four years, friends for eleven, and having a two year old it's about dang time!) Now this chapter is sort of a filler so it's a little smaller than my others. I would have posted it sooner and it might have been longer if my laptop had not decided to freeze three times! That of course caused me to lose the chapter and have to start all over! I hope this final draft meets with your approval! Enjoy!_**

**Help Me Make It Through the Night**

**By An American Mom**

**Chapter Seven: And the Lights Go Out**

Spring is well under way in Toronto; they're actually nearing summer as he sits on his balcony looking out over the city. He sighs, his mind wandering as always to his girl, his Jude. As summer approaches so does her second and longer tour. Her first album has done amazingly well nearly double platinum and probably will be by the time she goes on tour. As usual being her producer in Darius' first and foremost he isn't allowed to accompany her and the idea of being apart now for ten weeks is heart breaking. Actually that's putting it mildly, for him right now the very idea makes him feel like his entire world is crashing down around him.

In the distance he hears his landline ringing as it has been at this time every day since his release from the hospital in December. The hospital psychiatrist has been trying to get him to come in and talk since his release and in the beginning he politely declined; now he simply ignores the calls all together. He has absolutely no desire to talk to a stranger, a shrink, about the inner dwellings of his mind and the history before Jude. Truth be told he doesn't even want to admit to a life or existence before her. Before his friendship with Jude his life, in his eyes, was far too dark and too frightening and something he barely survived the first time around. There's so much of his history prior to their friendship that he hasn't told her because he's spent his life living in denial, pretending none of it happened and now it's in danger of destroying him from the inside out.

He lifts a nearly empty bottle of scotch from his lap tilting his head back as he places the mouth of the bottle to his lips and downs the remaining quarter of the bottle in a few deep swigs before letting the bottle fall to his feet to join the other two he'd already emptied in the three hours or so he's been sitting on the balcony. He drunkenly pushes himself from the metal chair and stumbles back inside through the sliding glass door lost in his thoughts and the extreme drunken haze surrounding him.

His vision at the moment is much like someone trying to look through partially frosted glass, so naturally the last thing he should be doing is getting behind the wheel of a car. However he doesn't think about it as he stumbles to his front door pulling down a random set of keys from one of the hooks beside the door and makes his way down to the parking garage. It takes him six tries with the keyless entry before he not only finds the right button but finds the correct vehicle; the lights flashing on the hummer of course indicating that is the keys he'd taken. He yanks the door open and climbs in some how managing to have enough intelligence to put his belt on before closing the door and putting the car into reverse. He peels out with an ear piercing screeching of the tires almost backing right into a Mercedes parked directly behind him in the aisle parallel to his own before changing gears into drive, grateful this is an automatic, as he peels out of the parking garage attempting to stay in his own lane as he speeds down the road.

At first he isn't sure where he's going, the blinding light of the setting sun and of course his frosty drunken haze making it impossible for him to really get any details from his surroundings. After a few hundred feet he realizes he's heading where he always goes when his world feels like it's crumbling around him, when his heart feels as though it's shattering into a million shards of jagged glass; he's going to Jude. Realizing his destination he pushes his feet down harder on the gas pedal determined to speed up his arrival to his safe harbor, to his life line.

The problem with speeding down the road at over a hundred miles an hour completed wasted is your inability to control your actions, your vehicle, and of course actually grasp what's going on around you in time. With such delayed reactions he crosses one of the busiest intersections on a red light and it's not until the car from the oncoming lane is seconds away from slamming into him that he realizes what he's done, the words, "I'm sorry girl" escaping his lips in a pain cry as the other vehicle slams into the side of the hummer into the back door of the driver's side causing the car to spin several times before a lamp post finally causes him to stop moving all together.

--

Stuart and Jude are sitting at their kitchen table enjoying a quiet dinner just the two of them, Sadie off with friends for the evening preparing for her early admissions to University in the states, when the sudden shrill cry of the phone causes them both to jump. It was rare for their landline to ring at all, but especially during dinner time. Something about it fills Jude and her father both with a sense of dread as Stuart dabs his face with his blue cloth napkin and tosses it gently beside his plate before standing and crossing the short distance to the phone in time to pick it up on the third ring. "Hello?" He pauses listening to the person on the other end of the line, his aging face taking on a sudden worried and shocked expression as he looks at his youngest daughter but answers the person on the phone. "Yes I'm family. What happened? Uh-huh… I see… Yes, we're on our way. Thank you." He hangs up the phone and looks down at Jude who had gotten up during the call to stand in front of him.

"Dad, who was that on the phone? What's going on?" Jude asks, her voice laced with worry and her bright blue eyes wide as she looks up at him.

Stuart takes a deep breath placing his hands on her shoulders staring down into her bright blue eyes; he can see the tears forming as if she's already fearing the worst. "Honey that was St. Michael's hospital on the phone, Tommy was brought in a few minutes ago by ambulance… There was an accident…"

"Oh god… Is he… is he okay?"

"They don't know much, it was bad, and he was drunk… He's in surgery now to stop some internal bleeding. But for now that's all they could tell me."

"Oh god… no… he has to be okay daddy! He has to…" Her long fiery lashes flutter rapidly over her cheeks as the tears spill from her bright blue eyes in thin rivers as she crumbles to her knees in front of her father, her arms wrapping around her torso tightly as if she's trying to keep her entire body from shattering. He's not dead, but he could die. Didn't people die during drunken wrecks? Her Tommy… Her mind spins rapidly in multiple directions as she tries to figure out how, why, what she could have done to prevent this. As it always does when you love someone with all of your heart, you blame yourself, and that's exactly what she's doing.

Stuart leans down in front of his daughter pulling her to her feet and hugging her against his chest soothing her hair. "He'll be okay honey. He's tough, he'll pull through this." He pulls her back a moment reaching up to brush away the fresh tear tracks before cupping her cheeks in his hands. "Go wash your face quickly and we'll go down to the hospital, that way we'll be there when he wakes up from surgery."

"Okay." She nods quickly pulling from her father's grasp and retreating to the bathroom. She washes her face with ice cold tap water several times before drying it and taking several deep ragged breaths to calm herself before pulling out her cell phone and sending Kwest a text message to let him know sort of what happened to Tommy. Having her father beside her is great but she needs Kwest now too, her hope of course is that he'll have more of an idea what to do when Tommy comes to. She knows exactly what the hospital is going to say and she knows she'll need all the help she can get to reach him this time. This is as close to losing him as she ever wants to get, _if he survives_, she thinks to herself as she closes her phone and meets her father in the car.


	8. Chapter 8

**_AN: First of all I wanted to say welcome! To all of my new readers in the last couple of chapters and any new readers starting from this chapter. Thank you to all of you who have read and/or reviewed my story/stories! Your reviews help keep me writing! I know I ended my last chapter in a bit of an evil fashion so I worked hard to get this chapter out quickly for you to let you know just what happens to Tommy! Warning! This chapter does deal with some pretty heavy stuff! Hope you enjoy the chapter just the same!_**

**Help Me Make It Through the Night**

**By An American Mom**

**Chapter Eight: Past Unleashed  
**

A sense of de ja vu washes over Jude as she paces in the ICU waiting room as Kwest and her father watch her worriedly. They all know something's going on with Tommy but so far not even she's been able to get through to him. She'd thought she was since they became a couple on Valentine's Day but today was proof that she still hadn't gotten through to him. Though when she took a moment to think about it she realized this was the first time he'd gotten drunk, or actually wasted, since they'd been together. Kwest's voice pulls her out of her thoughts and she turns to look at him with a confused expression, "What?" She questions having no idea what he'd said to her.

"I said, I thought he stopped drinking? What happened?" Kwest asks standing against the wall near the doors of the waiting room as anxious as everyone else for word on their friend.

"I thought he had too. Either he's gotten really good at hiding it, or something triggered it today." She flops her back against the wall beside him propping one converse clad foot behind her on the wall.

"Have any idea what that could be?"

"No. I wish I did. I wish he'd talk to me, but there's parts of his life he won't even talk to _me_ about. It's always been that way though. I've always known there were a few, very few, things in his past that he never wanted to talk to me about but I know they tear him up inside. Some times are just worse than others. But usually he at least comes over and just lies with me before he gets this bad." She pauses chewing on her lower lip as she lowers her voice. "He was coming through that last light on the way to my house when… well that's where the accident was… Why didn't he come over sooner? Why didn't he call me? I would have dropped anything and gone over there…" She can feel her tears burning tracks down her cheeks again reaching up with the heels of her hands to try and rub them away, pressing hard on her eyes to try and stop the flow.

Before Kwest can do anything more than place a comforting hand on her shoulder a woman who looked in her forties in a white lab coat walks in through the double doors of the waiting room, "Who's here for Thomas Dutois?" She blinks in surprise as Stuart, Jude, and Kwest answer her all at once. She nods before continuing. "Mr. Dutois is out of surgery, we're confident we've taken care of all of the bleeding so he should come around in the next few hours."

"Can I see him?" Jude is of course the first to ask.

"Of course, in just a moment, you must be Jude." The doctor smiles gently before getting serious again. "Let's have a seat." She motions to a group of empty chairs and waits until everyone is seated before continuing. "Mr. Dutois had a large amount of alcohol in his system and in reading his records I noticed he was in here in December with alcohol poisoning. Our psychiatrist has been trying to reach him since, in the beginning he simply gave polite excuses but in the last couple of months he's been avoiding the calls all together. I'm afraid that when he's recovered from the auto accident he's going to have to be admitted to the psychiatric ward of the hospital for at least seventy-two hours. His behavior is a danger to himself and others, it's apparent by his actions that whether it is conscious or not he is suicidal."

"I'm sorry doctor… I've been trying to get him to talk to me, or to someone. I've really been trying so hard. I thought he was getting better, he seemed happier and he'd stopped drinking until today." Jude says, her voice wavering with the new onslaught of tears before she places her head in her hands.

"It's not your fault. People who are suicidal in this fashion, by self destruction are often quite good at hiding it and it's usually relating to something buried deep down inside of them that even they're not fully aware of or that they're denying even to themselves. He's going to need all of you to get through this; it's not going to be easy on him."

"I'll be here around the clock. I'm not leaving his side at all. You'll call school for me right dad?" Jude looks pleadingly at her father.

"Of course honey." Stuart nods before addressing the doctor finally. "That's not going to be a problem is it? To be honest if you want any hope of reaching him, or getting him to cooperate your best bet is to let her stay with him."

"She's welcome to stay with him at all times up until he's moved to psych. Then there might be some limitations at least for the first twenty-four hours and during any evaluation." The doctor informs them gently.

"He's not going to take that quietly." Stuart says with a shake of his head.

"Be that as it may, it's how it has to be. If he wants to have the privilege of seeing her then he has to listen to what they tell him and cooperate during that first twenty-four hours. If we're lucky they'll get through to him and in the process maybe he'll open up to you too." She adds looking at Jude warmly before standing. "We can discuss this closer to time, why don't I take you to see him? That way you can be there when he wakes up."

Eagerly Jude followed the woman of course through the double doors to an elevator. She doesn't hear the doctor explaining to her that since surgery he's been moved from ICU up to admitting on the fourth floor of the hospital, she simply follows the woman's steps on auto-pilot. She matches the doctor's every step until the reach a door at the end of a brightly colored hall with yellow linoleum floors her hand curled against the door frame as she slowly looks up from the yellow floor beneath her feet and settles her gaze on Tommy's battered and sleeping form, her breath catching in her throat. She tries again to take a deep breath to steady herself before finally entering the room several paces behind the doctor.

"It might be several hours before he wakes up, or it may not it all depends on how much he wants to fight the haze. Hold his hand, talk to him, and let him know you're here. I think that might be his saving grace at least at this stage, the rest he'll have to work through on his own but maybe with you beside him he'll be willing to try." The older woman squeezes Jude's shoulder a moment before exiting the room to check on other patients.

As soon as Jude hears the soft click of the door to Tommy's room close she pulls a chair up to the side of his bed taking hold of the hand that has an IV sticking out of the back of it careful not to dislodge the plastic tube she caresses the back of his hand with the pad of her thumb her bright blue eyes crystalline full of tears watching him sleep, silently counting every abrasion marring his perfect face. She ignores the tears that spill down the curve of her porcelain cheeks as she finally finds her voice though it's soft as she starts rambling through her crowded thoughts. "Why did you do it Tommy? Why are you trying to leave me? I don't want to be without you… You're my best friend…" She sniffles and pauses briefly to suck in a deep breath before resting her cheek on the cold railing of his bed. "I wish you'd talk to me, tell me what's eating you up inside…"

She sighs deeply leaning over the arm of the chair to dig in the drawer of the little night stand beside his bed for paper and a pencil, after all sometimes people leave those things from their stays. Lucky for Jude someone had done just that. She pulls the paper from the drawer and adjusts grabbing the tray for his bed from behind her pulling it up beside her and lowering it so she can write with her right arm resting on the tray and hold his hand in her left. She spends the next few hours writing down lyrics and chords in a chaotic fashion as she waits for him to wake up her voice softly humming the chords as she comes up with them.

It's nearly midnight, Jude's still working on the song circling in her mind as Tommy starts to stir, his fingers twitching against her hand causing her to set the pencil down and focus her attention on him instantly. "Tommy?" She asks softly leaning towards him and carefully bringing his hand to her lips to kiss his bruised knuckles.

"Jude?" His voice is hoarse as he speaks her name like a question his usually crystal blue eyes are only a dull blue, almost grey in color as his dark lashes dance over his cheeks rapidly several times before his eyes actually open to reveal the color. He sees the trail of tears along her cheeks and shakingly takes his hand from hers grasp lifting it to unsteadily brush his fingertips along the damp trails before curling his hand carefully against her cheek. "Don't cry girl… please… I'm sorry, so very sorry… Please don't give up on me…" His voice cracks then, breaking with the weight of his own tears that begin to spill down his cheeks now his hands lifting to press against his eyes trying to curb his emotional outburst, he's supposed to be strong for her isn't he?

She stands as his hand lift to his face; she lowers the railing so she can sit down on the edge of his bed reaching up to pull both of his hands from his face. She rests her forehead gently against his, her breath brushing softly across his skin as she breaths him in before speaking. "I'd never give up on you Tommy, I love you. But you've got to talk to someone… please… I don't want to lose you, talk to me please… I'm begging you…Tell me what's wrong, why are you doing this to yourself? No more secrets, please…" She pulls back then to look down into his eyes, her own pleading with him.

He lowers his gaze from hers dropping it to his hands on the bed as they reach for hers. He swallows several times, taking deep breaths but not yet saying a single word and refusing to meet her pleading gaze. He knows he has to say something, he knows he needs to tell her before he faces the shrink. His voice is so small when he finally finds it, "I've spent my whole life afraid of becoming him that now I am him…"

"Becoming who? Who are you talking about Tommy?" She reaches up curling her hand under his chin finally forcing him to look at her, the scared frightened boy she sees looking back at her in those crystal blue eyes shatters her heart on the spot.

"My dad," He sighs deeply looking deep into those bright blue eyes he's so in love with, scared out of his mind at even broaching this subject with her but he presses on. "Are you sure you want to hear this girl?"

"You're my best friend; I'll always want you to talk to me about _anything_ that's hurting you."

He nods slowly before letting his head all back against the back of the bed his gaze drifting towards the ceiling as he starts toying with one of her hands idly tracing shakey designs on the back of it. "Before I met you I had an actual family. It wasn't perfect; actually it pretty much sucked as much as it does now, but I'm not sure which side was worse. My parents fought, all of the time to the point of throwing things, hitting… It was ugly… But I loved my dad and he always found time for me which I think is one of the reasons my mom got so mad at me and still can't stand me. He and I were a lot alike. He loved music, he's part of the reason I love it. But he was miserable with her and after a while he started drinking, a lot." He pauses taking a deep breath, his long dark lashes flashing rapidly over his cheeks as he tries to fight back the tears thinking back on his history.

He reaches up with one hand to press the heel of his hand into his eyes to help push back the tears before returning his hand to the top of hers so it's sandwiched between both of his again. "I remember one night I was sick and couldn't sleep, I got up and went downstairs to see if he was still up. He'd usually play for me when I couldn't sleep and it'd help. But when I reached the middle of the stairs I could hear them yelling at each other and getting mean. I couldn't understand what she'd said to him but whatever it was it caused him to finally snap. He said he couldn't take it any more; he walked away from her to the little closet beneath the stairs and pulled a pistol off of a shelf. When he looked up he saw me on the stairs, I must have been crying because he came up the stairs and scooped me up. It was pretty easy for him since I was only eight at the time… He carried me back to bed and tucked me in, he told me he loved me and not to ever forget that but that he was sorry he had to go away and I wouldn't see him again for a very long time. I was sick and tired and way too young so I didn't really understand what he meant. Ten minutes later when I was almost asleep I heard the gun go off once and my mother scream. Everything else that night was a blur, but I remember the flashing lights of the paramedic trucks, the white of the hospital walls and the sickening sterile smell of alcohol." He lifts his head finally looking at her and letting the tears fall silently down his cheeks as he tries to gauge her reaction.

Her hand is clamped loosely over her mouth as she looks at him in pain filled shock, the pain of course for the agony he must have suffered and is obviously still suffering with what happened. She takes a deep breath to compose herself for his sake and lowers her hand. Her voice is hardly above a whisper, "I'm so sorry Tommy…" What else can she really say to such an admission?

"I'm scared Jude… Did you know if a parent is or was suicidal it seriously ups the stakes for their kids? I don't want to be like him… I don't want us to be like them…" His voice trailing off as a sob finally claims his throat. He leans forward pulling his hands away from hers to bury his face into them as he really finally loses it.

She scoots closer to him closing the distance between their bodies as she wraps her arms around him and in the process pulling his hands from his face forcing them down as her arms wrap around his neck. Her fingers begin toying gently with the hair at the nape of his neck, her lips pressing soft kisses to the side of his neck just below his ear as she whispers, "It'll be okay Tommy. Everything will be okay." She feels his arms wrap tightly around her pulling her closer as the sobs continue to wrack his body causing it to shake against her own. "You're going to have to see the psychiatrist, but she'll help you find your way out of this hole you're in Tommy and I promise I'll be by your side every step of the way." She lets her words fall into silence for a moment as she hangs onto him feeling him cling to her like a lifeline; she begins to hum the melody of the song she had been working on while he was asleep letting the sound of her voice begin to sooth his pain.


	9. Chapter 9

**_AN: Well my wonderful readers/reviewers it is the time I know most of you want to hurt me for, the final chapter! But never fear! I have every intention of starting work on the sequel tonight so the first chapter should be up in the next day or two! I hope you all have enjoyed this story as much if not more than you did the first one! I love and appreciate your feedback! Thank you all so much! Songs used in this chapter are: Help Me Make It Through the Night; Elvis Presley and Running in the Rain; Hinder (though I did change quite a few of the words so it would work better with the chapter!) Enjoy!_**

**Help Me Make It Through the Night**

**By An American Mom**

**Chapter Nine: Help Me Make It Through the Night  
**

Tommy spent nearly a week in his private room of the hospital healing from the accident with Jude by his side around the clock before they finally moved him into the psychiatric portion of the hospital for his mandatory seventy-two hours. He'd abided by all of the rules, opened up to some degree with the resident psychiatrist though only as much as was needed for them to allow him to see Jude. For the first twenty-four hours of his hold she'd not been allowed to see him at all, but she'd stayed within the walls of the hospital sleeping in the waiting room the entire time knowing that the bond between the two of them was strong enough he'd know she hadn't left him alone, not really. He couldn't see her but he'd feel her, he'd know. At least this is what she spent those twenty-four hours telling herself.

For the second set of twenty-four hours she was only allowed with him two hours at a time, and then she had to be away again for two hours. So every other two hours she spent by his side talking to him, holding him, singing to him and with him. Everything she could think of to help him through this nightmare. They'd also talked, discussing everything he'd gone over with the psychiatrist during her two hour absence.

On the third and final day she was allowed three hours with him and two hours away from him. This time the psychiatrist only spent an hour of his separation time with Tommy, the other hour was spent in her office discussing things with Jude and Stuart in terms of recovery and his discharge agreements. This time seeing her would be mandatory and Jude was only allowed to accompany him to the visit she would of course have to remain in the waiting room. By the last visit of the day Tommy had finally agreed to the terms knowing it was the only way they would release him and of course Jude had also convinced him it was for his own good. She promised to go with him to every appointment; Stuart even agreed that if the appointment was during school hours she would be signed out of class so long as she agreed to do her work while he was in his session.

After Tommy's final session on the third day the psychiatrist allowed Jude to stay with Tommy for the night as he was due to be released at seven the following morning. Stuart stayed with both of them until ten, discussing the plan for his release the following morning. During Tommy's initial release Stuart was not at all comfortable with Tommy being at home alone but this time instead of sending Jude home with him he convinced Tommy to come home with them and stay in the Harrison house following his release. Given the extent of his physical injuries from the wreck, like the broken leg which hadn't healed yet of course, it was in his best interest to have someone around to help him out. Stuart intended to cut down on his hours at work planning to only be gone a couple of hours prior to Jude returning from school and staying into the late evening.

Tommy wasn't overly enthusiastic about being a 'burden' on either of them, but in the end he had agreed. He knew it was impossible with both Jude and Stuart siding against him. He's also not looking forward to dealing with Sadie who of course still views him as Tommy Q, his made up persona from his boy band days. The one thing he is looking forward to in all this is being with Jude full time for a while, at least until she goes on tour though by then he's sure he'll be back at his place anyway.

When they arrive at the Harrison house Stuart helps Tommy upstairs sort of regretting the fact they don't have a bedroom downstairs he could be placed in. Tommy shakes his head at the mumbled apology as he lies down in Jude's bed where he would be bunking during his stay. "Guess I'll be enjoying my meals alone?" He tries to keep a teasing edge to his voice though he fails miserably.

"Actually I had assumed you'd either slide down on your backside for dinner or I'd come up and help you down. I don't think Jude would allow you to eat up here by yourself during a family meal Tom. You should know her better than that."

"Good point." Tommy chuckles slightly before sighing just as Jude walks into the room. His smile is tired as he reaches towards her. "Just the girl I wanted to see, come here beautiful."

"Flattery will get you everywhere Quincy." She giggles slightly before crossing the room to him sitting down on the edge of the bed beside him facing him as her father quietly leaves the room.

For ours they sat on her bed and talked, a little about how he's feeling with his past open and on the table between them but mostly about the normal mundane things in their lives. After a while they'd switch to music working on a few different songs she'd been working on the last few weeks. That's when he finally brought up the new melody she'd been humming in the hospital. "Care to share what you were teasing me with in the hospital Harrison?" He teases her, his index finger gently poking into her side playfully.

She giggles at his touch before her features take on a serious undertone her head shaking softly. "I don't know if that's a good idea. It's a bit of a sad song."

"Oh? I guess what I told you inspired you huh?" He guesses softly knowing her better than anyone.

"Yes…"

"I'd still like to hear it Jude." He reaches up to brush the pads of his fingers along her jaw line waiting until she makes eye contact with him to offer a faint smile on his all too pale lips.

"If you're really sure…" When he nods she brings her guitar closer to her hitting an acoustic version of the song though she knows if she were to ever record it she'd probably do it on the piano.

_He cuts himself to forget him  
And every time his wounds get deeper  
Tonight's the night he's gonna shed his skin  
Cause he's thinkin' that she doesn't need him  
He's wishin' all this would end  
And he's gonna try to take his own life again_

_Wait, I know your hearts been shattered  
But there's someone worth the wait  
There's so much more that matters  
And I know you will be alright, just try  
to love the little things in life  
Like running in the rain_

_He drinks alone to forget him  
And every time the room starts spinning  
He starts to thinkin 'bout where they were  
When he told her that she doesn't need him  
He's wishin' all this would end  
And he's gonna try to take his own life again_

_Wait, I know your hearts been shattered  
But there's someone worth the wait  
There's so much more that matters  
And I know you will be alright, just try  
to love the little things in life  
Like running in the rain_

_He's wishin' all this would end  
And he's gonna try to take his own life again_

_Wait, I know your hearts been shattered  
But there's someone worth the wait  
There's so much more that matters  
And I know you will be alright, just try  
to love the little things in life  
Like running in the rain_

_Running in the rain_

_But I know you will be alright, just try  
to love the little things in life  
Like running in the rain_

She looks up at him when she's finished setting her acoustic aside when she sees the fresh trail of tears down his cheeks. She knew her newest song would get to him. She reaches up to wipe away his tears smiling faintly and keeping her voice soft. "It's true though there's more to life than what you've been through Tommy. We'll all help you through this, I promise you. All the things you've been through in your life, even the stuff I was with you for is bad and you didn't deserve to go through any of it but no matter what you face I will always be with you." She shifts positions to curl up next to him as he shifts to lie down. She lifts her hand running her fingers gently through his hair lying on her side facing him as he does the same.

"Don't you know you are what has kept me going all this time Jude? I'd never have made it this far if I hadn't met you my first day of school here. I don't think I could have survived my mother's hatred if I didn't have you loving me just as fiercely if not more so than she hated me. You were so young…" He trails off for a moment as he reaches up to brush her bangs from her forehead and then kiss her there softly. "You loved me with such intensity for someone so much younger than me and so innocently. You were my best friend from the very beginning. I'm sorry I kept all this from you for so long, I guess part of me just couldn't see past how much younger you are than me. I wanted to protect you from my past, from what I might become." He leans his head towards hers resting his forehead on hers so closely that every time he blinks his lashes flutter against hers.

She rests her hand on his cheek gently as she tilts her head just enough to brush her lips against his in a feather light kiss before speaking softly again, "You won't become him Tommy, I'll be right beside you to help you avoid doing the bad things he did and to be strong enough to be the good things he was. A person who could love you as deeply as I do could not have been all bad. You've spent our entire friendship protecting me from anything you could that could possibly hurt me, now it's my turn to protect you from yourself. That's how we're supposed to be, the give and the take."

"I love you so much girl." He brushes his lips softly against hers this time before sighing deeply as his eyes close with the on coming exhaustion. "The nights I can remember sleeping the best in all of my life were always the ones when I came in through your window and lied here with you in this bed, or when you shared my beds. I spent several years even after I met you telling myself I had to be strong and look to myself for everything even though I had you. It was supposed to be my job to protect you, but I think in a way even if I didn't see it until now you've always protected me even from myself without really trying. From the very beginning you let me come crawling through your window to you. You've always held me as much as I've held you if not more so. Your big heart and your compassion has always drawn me to you Jude." He opens his eyes suddenly pulling back to really look at her as his hand shifts to cup her cheek. "I'll never believe I have the right to ask you this, but I'm asking just the same… No, I'm begging you; promise me that no matter what happens I'll never lose you. I know I've been around the block more than my fair share of times and I have no right to ask you this, but I don't think I could ever bear to lose you to someone else even if it was just for a little while." His crystal blue eyes plead with her in the pale moonlight that spills over them from her always open window.

Her smile is light, honest, and loving all at the same time. "I don't need to leave you and play the field Tommy. I know what's out there and I've always known my life would lead me back to you. You had my heart from the very beginning before I was even old enough to understand what it really meant to give it to you I had given it to you."

"So you'll always be my girl?"

"Always and forever Tommy Q," She chuckles slightly calling him that.

He chuckles in response before brushing his lips tenderly over hers again. He brushes his fingertips over her eyes softly whispering inaudibly for her to close them before his own close and his voice ever so softly takes flight in song, the words that fall from his lips in a rhythm akin to a lullaby is an old Elvis Presley song that in this moment comes to his mind easily.

_Take the ribbon from your hair  
Shake it loose, let it fall  
Lay it soft against my skin  
Like the shadow on the wall_

_Come and lay down by my side  
Till the early morning light  
All I'm taking is your time  
Help me make it through the night_

_I don't care what's right or wrong  
I won't try to understand  
Let the devil take tomorrow  
'Cause tonight I need a friend_

_Yesterday is dead and gone  
And tomorrow's out of sight  
And it's sad to be alone  
Help me make it through the night_

_I don't care what's right or wrong  
I won't try to understand  
Let the devil take tomorrow  
'Cause tonight I need a friend_

_Yesterday is dead and gone  
And tomorrow's out of sight  
And it's sad to be alone  
Help me make it through the night_

_I don't want to be alone  
Help me make it through the night _


End file.
